Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Radical Acceptance and why your life problems are probably your own fault.

Everyone is yelling at you. Nothing is going right. You try to talk to someone about it, and they tell you to piss off. No one talks to you any more. Every little thing that happens to you just adds to the stress of the last little thing that happned to you that made you stressed. So, you panic. You get anxious, you yell, you vent online. "This just isn't fair! Why is everyone such a bitch to me? I just don't get it. My life shouldn't be this hard. What did i do to deserve this! I just can't handle the stress any more. I give up!" Sound farmiliar? We all do it. I've been doing it my whole life. some of you bitch about it on facebook all day every day like i did. Then post it on other people's status threads when they're bitching about their day, just so the world knows how bad you have it. Then someone posts on your picture and you are all like "blah blah blah blah blah i hate my life". Some of you are going to read this and be like "OMG, she's talking about me! What a stupid bitch, the nerve she has! HOW DARE SHE!" Calm down. You know what? Life is hard. Duh. Pain is ALWAYS going to be there. No matter what. SUFFERING IS OPTIONAL. You chose how stressed YOU get. YOU chose to yell and scream at everyone. That's probably why everyone hates you. That's why people never liked me. You need to learn about Radical Acceptance.

Radical Acceptance was created by Dr. Marsha Linehan. A complete genius. I love her.


Basically, what this means is that you accept EVERYTHING that is not in your control.


Example, your sister is being awful to you, she yelled at you and downloaded a bunch of virus filled porn on your computer. You're mad. SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT! You complain, you get all upset. But, how is that going to help anything?


If going up to your sister and punching her in the throat going to solve anything? Hell no. Is complaining going to fix your computer? No.


So, you have two choices. Solve the problem, or be miserable.


Solving the problem is pretty easy. You call a friend that's good with computers, explain your situation and have them come help. Then, you confront your sister, without being angry. Then you move on.


Or, you could yell and scream, swear and punch her. She shouldn't have done it!


Lemme tell you a secret. There's no such thing as 'should' and 'shouldn't'. Not in the past. You can't dictate what she SHOULD have done. The past is the past. Get the hell over it.


I've wasted so much time trying to tell everyone how stupid they are. Hell, i still enjoy it. But i'm not going to let it stress me. I'm not stressed about it at all. You're gonna talk to me and tell me your problems are worse than mine. And i accept that. I'm ok with it. Have at it. And i'm going to sit here and laugh at you because you're working yourself into a tizzy about something you can't control.


So, if anyone wants to know what you can do to stop freaking out all the time, lemme know. I find that telling other people about what i've learned helps me better understand it.



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