Oh god.
Today.
Sucked.
I got my diagnosis. Type 1 bipolar disorder, major depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder. Ok, not too bad. I can handle that.
Then they hit me with the next.
Borderline Personality Disorder.
Fuck.
It has been a long day.... I am tired. I cried a lot. It is not easy facing your demons. Especially if you have been avoiding them for years.
It was hard learning just who I have been.
I hated myself so much for who I have been.
This disorder will never go away. I will need medication and therapy my whole life.
Realistically, I will probably be hospitalized again.
Turns out chronic death and suicide fantasies aren't normal. Who new?
Don't start to get discouraged now. Think of all of the progress you have made for the past few days. I think you have to hit rock bottom before you can get back up, and I'm pretty sure you're on your way up.
ReplyDelete