CAKE: It's story time.

I'm always thinking. Everyone's always thinking. Duh. But today i was thinking about the song Happy Birthday and it came to my attention that there was once a period in history that the song Happy Birthday didn't exist. I'm sure everyone else knew that. But it just kinda blew my mind. I wondered what they did at birthday parties... did they even have cake? Did they serve the cake on paper plates with plastic forks. Then all the sudden i thought of a time at a wedding an old lady yelled at me over paper plates, cake and plastic forks.

Ok, people. Story time.

When i was younger, maybe 11 or so, one of our family friends was getting married. I didn't really even know them. So we went to the reception, because weddings are boring as shit. I know some of you reading this were married once and i am here to tell you, that even though i wasn't there to witness your wedding ceremony that it was boring as hell.

Anyway. it was cake time. We all kinda got in line. Julie was ahead of me, like always. When it comes to lines, she is ALWAYS ahead of me. No matter what, she has to be first. When we were still riding the bus to school, she would always get on the bus first. I wanted nothing more than to get on the bus first. But she would never let me. One time i got to get on the bus first and that may have been one of the happiest days of my life.

ANY WAY.

So we are in line to get some cake. It came to the part where we grab a plate and get ready to be served with some scrumptious marble cake. Julie got her cake and ran off. Well, apparently, i accidentally grabbed 2 paper plates. We've all been there. When your paper plate is just too thin to carry the food you're about to eat so you have to grab 2. You're too damn lazy to wash dishes later, so you gotta do what you've gotta do. So, here i am with two plates. The old woman that was serving the cake got PISSED. She was so mad. She says 'Why do you have 2 plates? Do you need to get 2 pieces of cake? Why are you bringing cake to someone else, if they want cake they can get it them damn selves." I tried explaining to her that it was an accident. this was the first time in my life i ever saw a white haired lady mad. She was fuming mad! so she rips the plates from my hands angrily. Treating me as if those plates were made of diamonds and i was trying to steal them. She separates them and slams them down on the table. She gets 2 pieces of cake and pounds one piece on each plate, takes 2 plastic forks and stabs the cake (mind you, she nicely handed each for to everyone else) then handed me the plates and told me to get out of there.

I was terrified, i had never been yelled at by an old lady before, especially by one i didn't even know. And about something so stupid... i mean, seriously... plates. PLATES. PAPER PLATES.

So yeah, i got 2 pieces of cake out of the whole ordeal.

I've never been punished with cake since.