My first full day of freedom.

Today had a lot of ups and downs. Mostly downs.

Being off medication is scary. The doctors said it'll take 2 weeks for my Lamictal to kick in, then the second one will kick in by the middle of next month. They're taking me off 3 anti-depressants... right now i'm only feeling the affects of 1 at 1/3 of the dose i usually take... This is the part i've been dreading. The part where i'm not on too much of anything. It's really annoying.

I'm finding it hard to smile, even harder to keep my eyes open. Food tastes bad, and pain feels worse. I'm just going to continue doing my therapy and try to keep my mind on recovery.

Today we worked out my 'chores', which are more like daily expectations. I'm practicing here, because i really don't want Julie to see me that way again....

My daily rules and 'chores':
Wake up at 6 and take my synthroid
Feed and water Cullen.
Go back to sleep.
Wake up at 8:30
Do a daily sheet thing.
set a goal
Eat breakfast
Make my bed.
Shower
Change clothes
Do my hair (all before noon)
Makeup, if i feel like it.
DBT
do whatever i can to help
have lunch
Do something till Amber gets home.

I have to do my laundry once or twice a week. I told them i am going to sand the kitchen table and then stain it. It'll be fun. I'm also going to clean up all the sticks from the yard and what not, whenever i go out.

Tomorrow we are going to target, lowes and menards. I wanna look at paint :)